Prioritizing your self-care during the Holidays

The holiday season, or “the most wonderful time of the year,” is here, along with the expectation that we should all be feeling warmth, joy, and belonging. While the holidays can indeed offer happiness, unpleasant emotions can also be amplified against the background of cheer. It’s important to note that feelings of stress, sadness, and anxiety are normal at this time.
 
From Thanksgiving preparations until we ring in the New Year, self-care is essential to maintaining both physical and mental health. The good news is, we are in control of our own self-care and can take steps to combat stressors and worry. With planning and positive thinking, we can work towards peace and joy. So, please enjoy a few reminders towards self-care here, in order to prioritize your mental health and be your best self in the next few weeks.
 
Attuning to emotional awareness is key to practicing self-care. It can be tempting to sweep unwelcome emotions under the rug and keep moving, but they always surface in some way. The more you avoid unpleasant emotions, the more they seem to grow. If you notice them as they arrive, you take control and use them as information that signals us towards what you need.
 
That could look like taking a break from a stressful conversation or clearing some alone time the next day. The trick is to notice, identify, and use emotions to our advantage. It may help to talk this process out with a friend or counselor to practice identifying emotions. Simply labeling our feelings helps us to be in control, instead of being controlled.
 
Boundaries are another important piece for holiday health. During the holidays, and throughout the year, it is helpful to establish and honor limitations with yourself and others. This can be especially helpful when dealing with family members who may not have the same view on life as you do.
 
How might you handle an unpleasant conversation, or unfair demand from someone? Being intentional with practiced roleplay or a thought-out cope-ahead plan can help keep your emotions and reactions level. Be mindful of creating bounds to repel toxicity. But, a common mistake in enforcing boundaries is that they can be so stern that you end up neglecting healthy connections.
 
While you may need to exercise restraint, for example, with the person who is nagging you about your personal life, know when it’s okay to let someone in who genuinely cares about you. Set some time alone now to quietly reflect on what your personal boundaries are this season, and what you are willing to negotiate. If you are unsure of what your boundaries are, seek counsel from those you trust or an objective source like a counselor.

Relationships come to the surface at holiday time and feelings and thoughts about others can cause us to live both in the past and the future. Focusing on the present is a path to peace. The holidays can be a time that you reflect on the past, relationships that have ended, and the lives that you have lost. Or, worry about what will come in the year ahead. Remember the old saying: Depression is living in the past, anxiety is living in the future, and peace is living in the present. Take time to set technology aside and immerse yourself in the present moment as much as possible. And, when you do, congratulate yourself for doing so.
 
And, lastly, as you embrace this year’s holiday journey, remember to practice gratitude and self-compassion. Speak to yourself as you would a loved one, especially if you need advice. Even though the season is busy, give yourself the time to breathe, escape from demands, and intentionally evaluate your own self-care.
 
Keep these basics of emotional intelligence and self-care in mind to help you grow into a healthier, more resilient person this holiday season: notice your thoughts and emotions, set and keep healthy boundaries, and be mindful.
 
In the next few weeks, the Lyons Emergency & Assistance Fund (LEAF) is presenting an online, interactive Zoom series to discuss stressors of the season with tips to navigate them. Grief, financial worries, anxiety about COVID-19 and modifications to holiday plans, political unrest, seasonal depression, and dealing with difficult family members are all topics on the table. All are welcome to join in the meetings, which take place on Thursdays at noon. This is the link to join in, from your phone, tablet, or computer: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84936475781
Passcode: LoveLyons. This link can be accessed on LEAF’s website at leaflyons.org.

Please remember, there is a difference between the holiday blues, which typically go away when the holiday season ends, and more severe depression or anxiety, which lasts longer and interferes with activities of daily living. If the holiday season passes and depression, anxiety, or worries still linger, it’s best to consult with a medical professional. The Lyons Emergency & Assistance Fund (LEAF) offers completely confidential assessments for those who wish to talk or explore options for mental health support. Please email mentalwellness@leaflyons.org for more information.